6 Things That Help Me Navigate Routine Change in Eating Disorder Recovery.
Image: Eating Disorder Recovery Symbol
Living with an Eating Disorder (ED) is hard at the best of times. But I often find that changes in routine can make perusing recovery a lot harder. I’ve just started back at uni and not only is it my final year. It’s the first time going into uni since the start of the pandemic. I’ve decided to share a few things that I’ve been doing that I find helpful in moments like these.
Disclaimer: Me sharing these does not mean that I’m successful at doing them all the time, some of them I find super hard and that’s okay. I’d also like to mention that I am not a medical or trained professional and these are just a few things that work for me.
Acknowledging That Recovery Is Hard And It’s Okay To Slip Up
I used to think that recovery meant never participating in any ED behaviours ever again. This is not true. In my recovery, I’ve found I do much less of these behaviours, but they do happen from time to time. Starting school again causes massive changes in routine, especially since we’ve all been at home during the pandemic. These changes bring up so many different emotions and end up tiring me out. Both of these things are massive triggers for me. Acknowledging how hard these things are and that it’s normal that ED urges will increase during this time is really helpful for me. I like to remind myself that it’s okay if I slip up, it doesn’t mean that my recovery journey starts back at 0 again. I can continue to pursue recovery even if I slip up.
Taking Time Out To Look At My New Routine And Identify Triggers And Changes I Need To Make
This one is super important for me. My routine is hectic, running Adoptee Futures, starting my final year and working part-time as well. I find it helpful to take some time to look at my day-to-day schedule and identify things that might be particularly triggering or lead to more ED urges. Once I’ve done this I put in place a plan to minimise the risk of these urges. For example, if I know my day is going to be super hectic, I know I need to find more time that day to do breathing exercises or any other self-care. It’s super helpful for me to know where the triggers might be & what I need, as this means I can communicate this to my support system (more on this later).
Scheduling Time For Self-Care And Breaks
Selfcare looks so different for everyone. It used to stress me out because I would see what other people did for self-care, try it and it wouldn’t work for me. So finding my own version of self-care has been crucial to my recovery. Self-care for me is silly things like playing The Sims4 with a glass of wine or redoing my hair.
In moments where recovery is particularly difficult due to changes in my routine, I find self-care helps so much. Saying this, it’s not always the easiest thing to do when I’m feeling rubbish. So physically scheduling it into my diary has benefited me massively.
Informing My Support Network On What’s Going On And How They Can Help Me
I hate this one. I find it so hard as I don’t ever want to burden people. I’ll be real, it also hurts my pride when I’m doing so well in recovery and then take a turn for the worst. But I’ve learnt that keeping it in isn’t good for me, my ED or the people that I love. ED’s are super isolating illnesses’ and I find that mine thrives when I isolate myself. Telling the people I trust when my ED is getting bad helps to keep me from drowning, makes it feel less heavy and actually seems to strengthen those relationships. It can be hard for those supporting people with ED’s to know what to do, and everyone has different needs. This is why scheduling time to figure out what you need and then sharing this with the people around you can be extremely helpful. Your needs might change and that’s okay. Letting other people know what you need also helps YOU figure out what you need.
Reviewing And Strengthening My Boundaries
New people and new environments = new triggers. When my routine changes, I never know if I’m gonna be around people who are going to trigger me. Keeping an eye out for those triggers and stepping away if I need to is vital for my recovery. Reviewing my boundaries, deciding what I’ll accept and what I won’t is crucial for me. I personally believe that we can not rid the world of triggers, and I’m at a point in my recovery where I try to face certain triggers head-on and desensitise myself from them. However, if I’m in a situation for example when I’m around someone who continuously engages in triggering behaviour or makes triggering comments, I allow myself to step away. This year I’m trying to be braver and less ashamed of my eating disorder, so if I find myself in one of these situations and I feel comfortable doing so, I aim to inform people of triggering behaviour (but don’t hold me to this one).
If Things Get Bad Reach Out To A Helpline Or Your GP
Recovery has its ups and downs and that’s okay. It’s okay to have downs, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It doesn’t mean you’re not in recovery anymore. ED’s can make us feel like complete #$%& and it sucks, hard. It can also feel like you’re all alone in it at times as it’s hard for those who don’t have one to understand what it’s like. I promise you, you’re not alone. Your pain and struggle is valid, you’re still here fighting and I’m so proud of you. You deserve support, understanding, softness, care, warmth and help.
If you find yourself struggling at any point, even if it seems minor, remember that there are helplines out there.
The UK has a charity called BEAT, they helped me so much at the start of my recovery and throughout. They have amazing resources, like a guide you can take to your doctor if they aren’t taking you seriously. They also run support groups where you can meet other people struggling with the same things.
If you’re in the US the NEDA has a helpline where you can chat, call or text.