Moving With Pride
A guest blog by Andrew Roilan Wheelock for LGBTQIA+ and Adopted series.
My name is Andrew Roilan Wheelock. I am a transracial international gay adoptee. I was born in the Philippines and adopted into the Wheelock family in Connecticut, U.S. when I was 10-months old. I grew up in a predominately white small town in Fairfield County Connecticut, U.S. and with my entire white family. Growing up a different race from my family made it utterly impossible for them to not discuss my adoption. I would regularly hear the story of my arrival to the states and how I wouldn’t sit down in the car so my brother, who is 6 years older and biological to my parents, sat with me in the back of the family’s station wagon.
I grew up unable to hide from the obvious differences between myself and my family, and when I finally accepted my sexuality around the age of 13 I thought to myself, ‘I can’t lie to the world about being adopted, so why am I going to lie to anyone about being gay?’
I feel that being a gay adoptee carries a different weight because while I processed my sexuality and experienced all the fears of coming out, layer on-top of the fact that I’m not biologically related to my family. My biggest concern was, ‘will they send me back to the Philippines?’
Adoptees each have their own individual journeys and we regularly share similar emotions, however LGBTQIA+ adoptees experience something very unique and special to us. This isn’t our family. We were not born to this family. We were bought. We were given. We were sold. Can our adoptive family “return” us because we don’t identify as heterosexual?
Over time my parents have fully embraced my sexuality and that portion of my identity, but of course there have been a fair amount of difficult times. My father and I did not speak for almost 2 years because his strong Catholic values conflicted with my homosexuality. My mother came from a place of love and care, and only wanted me to be happy - however that was meant to be. Otherwise, my friends and extended family have been incredibly supportive.
I have only recently begun to process how my adoption has impacted my life and actually just discovered my birth mom via Facebook. I see there is a need for LGBTQIA+ Adoptees to have a community and safe space to share their stories - I look forward to working together to help create one.
You can find Andrew on instagram @moving_with_me_
You can also learn more about Andrew’s adoption story here.