Being Adopted and your Career; how your upbringing has influence over your place in the world of work
By Grace Dee
Introduction
Entering the world of work is a daunting life stage for every individual, however, entering this pressurised part of society as an adoptee can come with more struggles and complications. This is due to the stigmatisation in society of adoption and the concept birth privilege can affect individuals self esteem (French, 2013). The body remembers trauma when the mind cannot and it is this that creates a greater battle (lyons et al, 2020). This article hopes to give a more detailed explanation of the different ways this can impact your position in employment, why this is the case and reassurance and advice on how to overcome this.
Attachment and developmental trauma ; its impact long term
The psychological theory of attachment plays an immense role in explaining the influence adoption can have on a career path. This is the idea that children keep close to whoever their caregiver is in their early months, even if they are a danger ( Lyons et al, 2020). In addition to this, the impact of developmental trauma from the loss of important relationships can cause constant fear, even if in a safe environment in later life, they still feel the need to have persistent survival instincts ( Lyons et al, 2020). This can appear in what would be conceived as simple situations for non adoptees such as a workplace, where they seek appraisal in a way that is central to them and their character due to the effect of their trauma (Brodzinsky, Gunnar and Palacios, 2022) . The work of attachment theories believe that those with anxious, avoidant attachment tendencies ( what can stem from adoption) can cause adjustments needed as greater mental challegnes are faced when in the workspace (Blustein, Prezioso and Schultheiss, 1995) .
Adoptees looking for what they needed
For some within the adoptive community, the best way to overcome the trauma gained from adoption is to give back. Stories such as Tanya, a project worker on the adoptive service in PAC - UK displays how she felt that instead of running from her upbringing she would benefit from embracing explaining how “the world of adoption was safe for me, how could I go that wrong when it was my experience” ( Family Action, 2019). This is an excellent example of how to combat the lack of identity development that was lost as a child, allowing positive engagement with being adopted ( Lyons et al, 2020). It takes away the negative stigmatisation felt towards adoption, allowing for this narrative that their development trauma has fueled to be rewritten.
Advice
The discussion around negative attachment theory and the development trauma that has been highlighted has not been done so to facilitate further trauma. It has been discussed to demonstrate how to take away stigma and shame; to put a name on the emotions many adoptees have felt their whole life without having awareness of what the feeling was. Here at The Dunbar Project, we encourage you to simply talk. To talk about the overwhelming feelings, as this is how to take the power away, take away the exploitation the anxiety of being imperfect has over you. You are not alone, your feelings of survival mode do not need to be taken into every aspect of your adult life, you just need a change of perspective.
Conclusion
In finishing, we want you to know that this feeling is not temporary but in the very best way. It is a part of you in a way that makes you extremely unique and that is something employers want. You must believe that your adoption story is not a trait that will cause you dismissal from a job, it is just a part of what has given you the personality to get you this far in your career journey.
We suggest looking at theses charities and blogs for further support:
https://adultadoptee.org.uk/blogs/ ~ covers all aspects of being adopted and the effects it has on your life
https://adopteesconnect.com/mission/ ~ service to unite and connect with other adoptees to be able to feel understood
Written by Grace Dee
References
Blustein, D.L., Prezioso, M.S., and Schultheiss, D.P., (1995) ‘ Attachment theory and career development: Current status and future directions’, The Counseling Psychologist, 23(3), pp. 41-432. doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/0011000095233
Brodzinsky, D., Gunnar, M. and Palacios, J ( 2022), ‘ Adoption and trauma: Risks, recovery, and the lived experience of adoption’ Child Abuse & Neglect, 130 (2), p. 1050309. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2021.105309
Family Action, (2019) , Tanya’s story: an adoptee working in adoption, available at: https://www.family-action.org.uk/our-voices/2019/09/26/an-adoptee-working-in-adoption/ ( Accessed on : 26th March 2024)
French, Q.Y.T., (2013), ‘Adoption as a contingency of self worth:An integrative approach to self- esteem in adopted individuals’, Adoption Quarterly, 16(2), pp. 128-152. doi: 10.1080/10926755.2013.787574
Lyons et al, (2020), ‘developmental trauma close up’, Beacon House Therapeutic Services and Trauma team, pp. 1-42, URL: https://irct.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Beacon_House_Developmental_Trauma.pdf (Accessed on : 26th March 2024)
Ross, A (2021) ‘ This is what no one tells you about adoption’, Huffpost, (26th April). Available at: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/adoption-trauma-savior-myth_n_608598b9e4b05af50db72167 (Accessed on: 26th March 2024)