Identity development and personality disorders in adoptees
By Grace Dee
Introduction
Identity is complex, it is a marker of difference in certain portrayals yet in others it is a symbol of connections to people and places in society (Buckingham, 2008). Throughout life identity is shaped and changed, especially in the move between life stages (Branje, 2022). Furthermore, personality disorder is also extremely complex to define and understand but put simply it is a consistent abnormality in social settings and relations (Rutter, 1987). Adoptees' lifestyle leaves them more susceptible to these types of mental health illnesses as their upbringing often leaves them with deep rooted trauma. This article will explain how adoptees with these illnesses feel and offer support and advice.
Identity development and personality disorder
A large part of identity is who you are and what you define yourself as in society. It is a lifelong process, it is rooted in childhood and takes growth within key life stages ( Grotevant, 1997). This is a more complex process when you are adopted; trying to find your identity when you do not always know or feel accepted by your biological roots. It is an extremely diverse process for anyone, especially for adoptees as their diversity in trying to find their identity is so vast that it can leave individuals feeling alone and lost within themselves ( Grotevant,1997). Focusing on this, the idea of transracial adoption and the effect this has on identity development must be discussed. Articles have looked into adoption by white families when the adoptee is from a non-white background and they found there is an expectation to fit into their new family style and race with little accustom for their racial origin (Nelson and Colaner, 2018)
Combining all that has been explained, it is clear that for adoptees, identity is a factor that that be a constant trigger of negative emotional cycle as their identity is a constant reminder of their adoption trauma. Furthermore, studies have shown that adoptees are more likely to have personality disorders than their non adoptee counterparts (Westermeyer, 2015). There are multiple different types of personality disorders with different severities, however, we are here to tell you that as an adoptee it will most likely be more heightened for you. Personality disorders can cause intense emotions yet as an adoptee your trauma of childhood leads to you already having a lot of intense emotions. French (2013) research states that self-esteem is something that adoptees struggle with due to feeling they have a low position in society because of a lack of birth privilege. Due to this, adoptees may be more unkind to themselves when struggling with identity or a personality disorder because of how harsh they are on themselves in general. We are here to help.
Advice
Mental health illness is hard, developing as an individual is hard but it is unyielding as an adoptee with adoption trauma and a complex support system. This is okay. It is not your fault you feel this way. You cannot change past circumstances but you can help yourself when in a present circumstance. Here at the dunbar project we promote self discovery. Self discovery is going to help you take back control, aiding you when you feel like you are helpless. Tracy Carlis discusses finding self through taking control, it speaks from an personalised perspective of adoptees with referral to reconnecting with biological family - https://drtracylcarlis.com/the-adult-adoptees-search-for-self/#:~:text=The%20most%20common%20reason%20that,a%20connection%20to%20the%20world. A second recommendation is the ‘how to be adopted’ blog (https://howtobeadopted.com/blog/2021/who-am-i-a-blog-about-identity-from-an-adoptees-perspective) that may allow you to find yourself through finding out how other adoptees have so. More generally, positive psychology gives an indepth look into the self discovery process and how to help yourself through this journey. https://positivepsychology.com/self-discovery/. For personality disorder, mind (https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/for-friends-and-family/) not only offers support for you but gives advice on how thoses close to you can help. Finally, reaching out to charities such as adult adoptees(https://adultadoptee.org.uk/lifelong-impact/#:~:text=Mental%20Health,toll%20on%20their%20mental%20health) can support you through this journey with an understanding of how your personal situation affects your mental health journey.
Conclusion
To summarise, we at The Dunbar project want you to know that this does not define you but it is a part of you that you should not be ashamed of. Adopted or not, mental health illness or not, struggling with identity or not, we are all human with high and lows and your feelings are valid. We believe in you and we are here to help you every step of the way.
References
Branje, S. (2022) ‘ Adolescent identity development in context’, Current Opinion in Psychology, 45, p. 101286. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2021.11.006
Buckingham, D.(2008) Introducing identity, Chicago: MacArthur Foundation Digital Media and Learning Initiative
French, Q.Y.T., (2013), ‘Adoption as a contingency of self worth:An integrative approach to self- esteem in adopted individuals’, Adoption Quarterly, 16(2), pp. 128-152. doi: 10.1080/10926755.2013.787574
Grotevant, H. (1997)’ Coming to terms with adoption: The construction of identity from adolescence into adulthood’, Adoption Quarterly, 1 (1), pp. 3-27. doi : https://doi.org/10.1300/J145v01n01_02
Nelson, L.R and Colaner, C.W.(2018), ‘ Becoming a Transracial Family: Communicatively Negotiating divergent identities in families formed through transracial adoption’, Journal of Family Communication, 18(1), pp. 51-67. doi: 10.1080/15267431.2017.1396987
Rutter, M. (1987) ‘Temperament, Personality and Personality Disorder’, British journal of psychiatry, 150(4), pp. 443–458. doi: 10.1192/bjp.150.4.443.
Westermeyer et al. (2015) ‘ personality disorders in adopted versus non-adopted adults’, Psychiatry Research, 226 (2-3), pp. 446-450. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2014.12.067