Unmasking the Facade: Society’s Struggle to Acknowledge Adoption as Trauma
Adoption is often portrayed as a heartwarming journey of building families and providing homes for children in need. However, beneath this narrative lies a less acknowledged truth – adoption is trauma. Unravelling the complexities of this reality challenges a world that is comfortable adhering to the narrative that adoption is unequivocally positive. In this article, we explore why it's easier for the world to stick to the "adoption is good" narrative, the damages it incurs, and the positive impact that could result from acknowledging adoption as a form of trauma.
The Comfort of a Simplified Narrative
Adopting the narrative that adoption is inherently positive offers a simplistic worldview that aligns with societal norms and expectations. It avoids the discomfort of delving into the nuanced and often challenging aspects of adoption, making it easier for individuals to accept at face value.
Adoption Agencies and Financial Interests
Adoption agencies, often driven by financial interests, perpetuate the "adoption is good" narrative to maintain a steady stream of clients. Acknowledging adoption as trauma may deter potential adoptive parents, impacting the agencies' revenue. Thus, there exists a systemic incentive to uphold a more positive portrayal.
Adoptive Parents and Personal Motivations
Some adoptive parents, fueled by personal desires for parenthood, may consciously or unconsciously contribute to the perpetuation of the positive adoption narrative. Recognising adoption as trauma might challenge their expectations and motivations, prompting discomfort and resistance.
Damage of the Positive Adoption Narrative
Clinging to the narrative that adoption is universally good creates significant harm. It suppresses the authentic voices of adoptees who navigate the complexities of their experiences, feeling silenced in a society that refuses to acknowledge their trauma. This silence perpetuates a cycle of unspoken pain.
Adoption agencies and charities must educate adoptive parents about the potential effects of trauma on adopted children. Without proper education, parents may have unrealistic expectations and assume that everything will be perfect. However, as they confront the realities of parenting a traumatised child, they may feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to handle the situation. Tragically, this can lead some parents to give up on their adopted child selfishly. It is therefore critical to ensure that parents are well-informed and for society as a whole to accept adoption as a trauma.
Impact on Adoptees' Mental Health
The reluctance to recognise adoption as trauma denies adoptees the acknowledgement and support they need for their mental health. Adoptees may internalise the expectation to be grateful for their adopted status, dismissing their valid feelings of loss, identity struggles, and trauma.
Breaking the Silence and Fostering Understanding
Acknowledging adoption as trauma is a crucial step toward breaking the silence surrounding the negative aspects of the adoption experience. It fosters understanding, empathy, and validation for adoptees, empowering them to navigate their emotions and challenges with a sense of agency.
By recognising adoption as a form of trauma, society can empower adoptees to share their truth openly. This not only contributes to a more accurate representation of the adoption experience but also helps dispel harmful myths and stereotypes that perpetuate stigmas around adoptees.
While it may be easier for the world to adhere to the "adoption is good" narrative, the cost of perpetuating this facade is high. Recognising adoption as trauma is a critical step toward fostering empathy, understanding, and systemic changes that prioritise the holistic well-being of adoptees. By breaking the silence and acknowledging the complexity of adoption trauma, we pave the way for a more compassionate and informed approach to adoption and adoptees, ensuring that adoptee voices are heard, and their experiences are validated.