Navigating Entitlement and Saviourism in Adoption: Examining the Impact of Infertility on Adoptive Parents

Adoption, often framed as a compassionate act, is a complex journey marked by its challenges, particularly when influenced by the emotional strain of infertility. In this article, we delve into the intricacies of saviourism in adoption, exploring how adoptive parents, often driven by infertility, might harbour entitlement and the ethical considerations surrounding such motivations.

Infertility and Emotional Strain

The experience of infertility is a profound and emotionally taxing journey for many couples. The desire for parenthood becomes a consuming aspect of their lives, creating a vulnerability that may lead some prospective adoptive parents to perceive adoption as a solution to their yearning for children.

Infertility can trigger a complex array of emotions, ranging from grief and loss to guilt and shame. For many individuals and couples, the inability to conceive naturally can challenge deeply held beliefs about themselves and their roles in society. Psychologically, this can lead to a sense of inadequacy or failure, as societal norms often equate fertility with personal worth and fulfilment.

From a psychological perspective, the decision to adopt can be influenced by a variety of factors, including individual coping mechanisms, cultural beliefs, and past experiences with infertility. Some individuals may view adoption as a way to regain a sense of control over their lives, while others may see it as an opportunity to give love and support to a child in need.

The Pitfall of Saviourism

Saviourism in adoption emerges when adoptive parents view themselves as rescuers, stepping in to provide a presumably better life for a child. This mindset may inadvertently diminish the adopted child's agency, reducing them to an object in need of saving rather than recognising their rights and identity.

From a psychological perspective, this dynamic can have profound effects on the adopted child's sense of self-worth and belonging. Being constantly perceived as someone who needed saving can lead to feelings of inadequacy, dependency, and even guilt. The child may internalise the notion that they are inherently flawed or inferior, perpetuating a cycle of low self-esteem and self-doubt.

Furthermore, the emphasis on rescuing can overshadow the importance of acknowledging and honouring the child's heritage, culture, and biological connections. This lack of cultural validation can result in a sense of disconnection from their roots, contributing to identity confusion and a feeling of not belonging anywhere.

In some cases, the adopted child may feel pressure to fulfil the expectations placed upon them by their adoptive parents, striving to live up to the idealised image of the "saved" child. This pressure can be overwhelming and may hinder the child's ability to explore their own interests, talents, and aspirations freely.

Entitlement and Adoption Agencies

Infertility-driven entitlement can influence adoptive parents' expectations in the adoption process. Some may anticipate expedited placements, express preferences for specific characteristics in the adopted child, or harbour assumptions that adoption agencies owe them a child due to their infertility struggles.

Such entitlement can lead to problematic attitudes and behaviours that can be detrimental to both the adoption process and the well-being of the adopted child.

Expecting expedited placements or expressing preferences for specific characteristics in the adopted child can objectify the child, reducing them to a commodity that meets the adoptive parents' desires rather than an individual with their own needs and rights. This mindset perpetuates the idea that the child's value lies in fulfilling the adoptive parents' expectations rather than being recognized for their inherent worth and uniqueness.

Moreover, adopter entitlement can exacerbate the power dynamics between adoptive parents and birth parents. Adoptive parents may view themselves as superior or more deserving of parenthood, leading to a lack of respect for birth parents' rights and experiences. This attitude can hinder the development of healthy relationships between adoptive and birth families, which are essential for the adopted child's sense of belonging and identity formation.

Reducing Children to Commodities

Saviourism risks reducing adopted children to commodities. When adoptive parents feel entitled to someone else's child, the child's well-being may take a backseat to fulfilling the adoptive parents' desire for parenthood. This objectifying perspective disregards the child's rights and best interests.

Reducing children to commodities is inherently unethical and harmful because it devalues their intrinsic worth as human beings. However, this mindset persists in adoption and other contexts because of societal norms, cultural beliefs, and systemic inequalities. In many societies, there is a pervasive emphasis on achieving parenthood as a marker of success and fulfilment, which can lead individuals to view children as possessions to be acquired rather than individuals to be nurtured and respected.

Moreover, the commodification of children is perpetuated by the commercialisation of adoption processes, where financial transactions and market-like dynamics can overshadow the ethical considerations and the best interests of the child. Adoption agencies, facilitators, and even prospective adoptive parents may become accustomed to treating adoption as a transactional process, further reinforcing the objectification of children.

Furthermore, the media and popular culture often portray adoption in ways that reinforce stereotypes and misconceptions, contributing to the normalisation of viewing children as commodities. Adoptive parents are depicted as saviours or heroes, while the experiences and voices of adopted children are marginalised or romanticized.

Additionally, systemic inequalities, such as poverty, discrimination, and lack of access to resources, can exacerbate the commodification of children, particularly in international adoption contexts where children from marginalised communities are often disproportionately affected. Economic disparities between sending and receiving countries can create power imbalances that enable the exploitation of children for profit.

Ethical Considerations in Adoption

Ethical concerns arise when adoption is driven primarily by a saviour complex. The adoption process must prioritise the child's well-being and rights, ensuring that their best interests guide every decision. A shift from fulfilling the adoptive parents' desires to creating a nurturing and supportive environment for the child is imperative.

Adoption can be deemed unethical when it perpetuates systems of inequality and exploitation. For instance, in some cases, vulnerable birth parents may be coerced or manipulated into relinquishing their parental rights due to economic hardship, lack of access to resources, or social stigma. This exploitation of birth parents not only violates their fundamental rights but also contributes to the commodification of children by treating them as commodities to be traded or exchanged.

Addressing Saviourism Through Education

Mitigating saviourism in adoption necessitates education and awareness. Prospective adoptive parents should undergo a comprehensive process that fosters empathy, cultural sensitivity, and an understanding of the ethical complexities involved. Education can redirect the focus from entitlement to a collaborative and child-centric approach.

Therapy can be a valuable resource for adoptive parents seeking to navigate the complexities of adoption and address underlying issues related to saviourism. Through therapy, adoptive parents can explore their motivations for adoption, examine any unconscious biases or expectations they may hold, and develop a deeper understanding of the adoptive child's perspective and needs. Therapists can provide a supportive and nonjudgmental space for adoptive parents to process their emotions, work through any feelings of entitlement or inadequacy, and learn healthy coping strategies for managing the challenges of parenting an adopted child. Additionally, therapy can help adoptive parents develop effective communication skills, strengthen family bonds, and foster a positive and inclusive family environment that prioritizes the well-being and agency of the adopted child.

Promoting Ethical Adoption Practices

Local authorities and adoption agencies play a crucial role in promoting ethical adoption practices. They should prioritise thorough education for prospective adoptive parents, emphasising the rights and agency of the child. Creating an environment that discourages saviourism ensures a more responsible and ethical adoption process.

In addition to providing education and training for prospective adoptive parents, local authorities and adoption agencies must also implement rigorous screening and evaluation processes to ensure that only individuals or families who are truly prepared and equipped to provide a nurturing and supportive environment for an adopted child are approved for adoption. This includes conducting thorough background checks, home studies, and assessments of the prospective parents' emotional stability, parenting skills, and understanding of adoption-related issues.

Furthermore, adoption agencies have a responsibility to prioritise the well-being and best interests of the child above all else. This means advocating for policies and practices that promote transparency, accountability, and respect for the rights and dignity of all individuals involved, including birth parents, adopted children, and their biological families.

By creating an environment that discourages saviourism and emphasises the importance of collaboration, empathy, and child-centeredness, local authorities and adoption agencies can help to ensure a more responsible and ethical adoption process.

Conclusion

The emotional toll of infertility can exacerbate the complexities inherent in the adoption process, often leading to the emergence of entitlement and saviourism among prospective adoptive parents. However, by recognising and addressing these pitfalls, we can pave the way for a more ethical and compassionate approach to adoption. It is crucial to prioritise education and awareness initiatives aimed at prospective adoptive parents, fostering empathy, cultural sensitivity, and an understanding of the ethical considerations involved. Moreover, local authorities and adoption agencies play a pivotal role in promoting responsible adoption practices by prioritising thorough screening, rigorous evaluation processes, and a commitment to the well-being and agency of the child above all else.

By confronting saviourism head-on, we can create an adoption environment that values collaboration, transparency, and child-centeredness. This entails acknowledging the inherent trauma of adoption and prioritising the rights and dignity of every child involved, from birth parents to adopted children and their biological families.